Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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