i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
do herpes really smell.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
