she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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