Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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