so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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