I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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