I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
