She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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