There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
