His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
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ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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