after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
