you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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