Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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