I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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