i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
