Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
