I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
