Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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