At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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