there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
