Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize