I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
