You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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