My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
