my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
