I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We named our party play list daddy issues
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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