so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
