# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
