Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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