he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
