The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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