ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
