you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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