Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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