It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
