I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
