Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
