you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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