I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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