in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my liver is dry heaving
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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