I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize