ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
