yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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