Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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