Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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