I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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