shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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