I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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