I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
