Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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