So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
is it fun? or sober?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
