Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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