I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
