You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
