I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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