then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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